TO DO WITH THE KIDS WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE ENERGY ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE KIDS AND YOU TRULY WISH THAT THEY ALL
WOULD JUST LEAVE YOU ALONE
I don’t know how you feel, but I
hate it when someone says, “I really admire you for what you’re doing,” and you can hear the implied “at
your age” in his voice. Hey! I know I’m not the president of the “Young Mom’s” Club, but there
are some things I can give to the kids I foster (and the adopted ones and my grandkids) that younger parents can’t. The major things are love and a home and acceptance. But I also have stories to tell
and a bit more patience and some perspective.
Still, I don’t want to be thought
of as “the old woman.” I want to be as vibrant and as vital as I can. So I do some active things with the kids—walks and golf and swimming and maybe Frisbee. But there are some things I would just as soon “sit out.” I let my sons-in-law take the kids
running or hunting or playing football. I’m not stupid. Okay, sometimes I am
stupid, but I don’t want to get hurt—again.
But I have learned, along the way,
how to let other people help with my kids and still not have the children discount me as an active part of their lives.
AS always, it is important to stay involved. That may be only to GIVE THE ILLUSION
of total involvement. When you persuade your son-in-law to take the kids fishing, YOU TAKE PICTURES AND SERVE THE VICTORY
LUNCH when they get home.
When the kids get up a game of volleyball, don’t sit back in a chair and
watch from a distance. If you don’t play, set up a chair close at hand and be
the line judge.
For those afternoons when your get up and go does, and your Uncle Arther(itis)
visits, think creatively.
I received an email the other day with
several thought provoking quotes on it, including the following:
not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.